starfcker: (Default)
Carrie ([personal profile] starfcker) wrote2009-03-26 10:29 pm

L: Change The World

I usually don't devote time and energy in order to complain, at length, about movies that I hate. But good god. This movie would have been terrible even if it wasn't trying to be a Death Note Movie.



Okay, so we all know that the Death Note live action movies are bad. Really bad. This is not up for debate. I wanted to give them a chance, especially when someone lied to me and told me that the Light was spot-on. XD Dude, no.

I had the first movie on for exactly five minutes when I decided that there was nothing in the world that would allow me to enjoy it. Why?



Light's nails.

Look at them. Just...take a minute and ponder. This just might be me being a characterization whore, but Light, being the properly-groomed, pretty boy that he is, would never let his nails look like that. I'm sorry. Call me picky, but seriously. Just no.

Anyway, yes. That is the thing that set my bias ball rolling against these movies. Now, on to this, the third installment. Let's ignore that they blew the plot ending to hell at the end of the second one with L WRITING HIS OWN NAME IN THE NOTE BECAUSE HE KNEW LIGHT WAS GOING TO AND HE WANTED TO BEAT LIGHT TO IT.

Oh, look. I killed me first. Checkmate, Light-kun. Checkmate.

So now, this is taking place during the 23 days in which L has left to live. So what happens? An attempt by a radical party at ending the world via a combination of the flu and ebola, of course.



This is "F"

Random, made up Wammy's kid that dies within the first 15 minutes of the movie. I think that there are/were enough Wammy's kids for them to not have had to invent new ones, but okay. He gets blown to hell by a MISSLE after being infected with this insane virus. So I'll accept that.



This is "K," another Wammy's kid that was pulled out of the vortex. Only she gets to be the baddie, so that makes her slightly more interesting than "F." Only slightly.

Some random things that made me lol irl.


Superior acting, as always.


I was too lazy to shop in an arrow, but if you look closely, you can see that the box by his feet from which he extracted the knife, was just that. A metal box containing a knife, and nothing more.

I believe that the following is possibly the most drawn out, hilarious death scene I've ever witnessed.















THE NEW WORLD NEEDS PEOPLE LIKE YOU, PROFESSOR! DX

Now, about L:


Yeahhhh.

I think the main problem with L is that they played off of his quirks to a ridiculous extent and all but ignored his intelligence in favor of making him an interesting spectacle. If you don't know L, seeing him for the first time in this movie would give you the impression that he had never talked to another human being, ever, never walked outside, never did ANYTHING except sit around and drink shit with too much sugar and make donut-kebobs.

Yes, L has some funny ass quirks. It's part of who he is. But to blow them out of proportion like that and have it overrule the fact that he is...the world's top three detectives is highly insulting.

And finally:



Guess who that is?

I'll give you a second...

Can't?

NEAR.

Because yes, Near is a Vietnamese boy who just happens to be the lone survivor of a small village destroyed by an engineered virus. Oh, and remember when L named Near?

Yeah, me either.



So that's about it. To point out every little thing that is wrong with this movie would be to upload it to this post, which I have no desire to do. Those are just basically the things that stood out to me.

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